Get Assholes Finish First PDF

By Tucker Max

ISBN-10: 1416938745

ISBN-13: 9781416938743

Assholes end First is Tucker Max's deliciously dirty collection of twenty-five true tales of sex, ladies, and wildly enjoyable depravity.

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After twelve hours of dedicated drinking, we’d finally hit our wall. The Next Day We didn’t wake up until around 2pm. Once we beat back our hangovers with a 12 pack, SlingBlade came upon this one RV with an awesome spread of food—not just cheap hot dogs and sausages, they had gourmet shit. Judging by the quality and quantity, they were those rare type of grad students who actually had real money of their own, not just government loans. This can mean only one thing: business school tools. In order to go to business school, you have to have worked for a few years and been good at it, so most of them have money saved.

A few hours of drinking, a few goofy jokes (“I like it when girls say harder, but not when they say deeper” and “I had a dream that I was in a horrific plane crash, and when I woke up I had an erection”), and we were back at my place. We started making out, then foreplay, then got down to business. She told me she likes it from behind, so I flipped her over and slid it in. As I was fucking her doggy-style, I reached down to grab her hair—for romance and leverage—and as I did so, I looked down at her back and noticed something so shocking it almost took my breath away: Right there, in the middle of her back, was the biggest zit I’d ever seen in my life.

It was far enough away that you could see the people and interact with them, but not so close that you were near them in any physical sense. ” Tucker “Because I have a bullhorn and you do not! Your fancy book learnin’ should’ve taught you that the strong do what they want, and the weak endure what they must. ” There were about six of them, and they all kept yammering at me. It was hilarious. Tucker “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am. ” They actually yelled louder. ” They kept jabbering at an even louder volume, and this one dude in particular was fuming.

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Assholes Finish First by Tucker Max

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